Christians Singles

American Christian singles face an interesting challenge in today’s dating market. How can a Christian single compete for the attention of a desirable woman and still maintain his Christian values?

The biggest problem I see facing American Christian singles is that the feel like to attract a woman – especially a Christian woman, they they need to be a “Nice Guy.” They don’t want to be known as a jerk or a bad boy. They think that by being nice then Christian single women will be attracted to them because they are “supposed to.”

The trouble is guys, God did not make women that way. he created them to be attracted to dominant males who can ensure her security. That means both her physical security and her emotional security. He did not make women to be attracted to wusses. Not even American Christian single wusses.

So if you want to learn to attract a Christian single woman, you are going to have to learn how to attract women in general. There is plenty of good advice on the internet, but there is also a lot of bad advice. So how do you know who to listen to?

First, you need to find a mentor. Find someone who knows something about women. The best mentors I have found for American Christian singles is an older couple who has been married a long time. Make sure they are really a happy couple.

Study their interactions. What you will observe is that the wife is eager and happy to please her husband. This may not sound politically correct these days, but you will see it in older happy couples. It is why she is eager to please him that you need to learn.

She will feel happy when she is pleasing her husband because he makes her feel secure and safe. She wants to make sure that he stays happy with her so he keeps her safe and not someone else. Women are very competitive when it comes to their men.

You will notice that the older husband easily makes decisions. He always considers and values his wife’s opinion , but he makes his own decision. He never ever asks his wife’s permission to do something. He simply informs her of his decision. If she has an objection, he will listen and then make a new decision. That may be the same decision or a different one, but it is always his decision.

Women are attracted to dominant secure men who generate a feeling of safety and security in a woman. Be that man and there will be no shortage of American Christian single women knocking on your door.

Mike Strawbridge is the owner of Straw Solutions Performance Improvement Consulting He enjoys applying spiritual concepts to life the universe and everything including dating. He is now offering personal coaching for Christian relationships.

For more on attracting an ideal mate, see http://mikestrawbridge.com/attraction.shtml.

The Big Lie.

People say it different ways.

It usually starts out: “As long as you honor God with your substance… ”
And then they finish it with…

“… God will reward you with a wonderful spouse.”
“… you can claim your marriage partner.”
“… and have a marriage made in heaven.”

And so on.

Well, part of it is true.

Some people appear to have things easy. They don’t face the same struggles regular people do.

But for the vast majority of single men and women I have come across, the story is different. It’s been a continuous battle and they are fed up with the single life and the dating game.

Years ago Dr. Neil Clarke Warren, founder of eHarmony.com, made the observation that millions of singles would love to get married – but only if they could live happily and forever with their partners.

And the truth is:

The whole frustrating, exhilarating, maddening, crazy game of dating has left many confused, baffled and hopeless.

This is hard to swallow for most Christian singles.

Especially when they’ve always been told that as long as you live a decent Christian life and look presentable that you are all set.

It should break your heart to see that many have been living decently for years … but they are suddenly waking up to discover that while they are rapidly approaching the proverbial age of 40, the hope of a happy marriage seems to be receding … like a mirage as the years go by.

Why is this so?

There are 9 deadly mistakes that almost all singles are making … in a desperate attempt to meet and settle down with their godly spouse.

*** Mistake #1
Having idols in the heart

This is one of the biggies. Please pay close attention here. In the Bible, anything that takes the place of God in your heart is an idol. God wants to have first place in your life. Especially when it comes to the issue of a godly spouse. HE has already kept His best for you. And you have to go to Him in prayer to find out.

And herein lies the danger …

If you go to God with your mind already made up about someone you want and then you just ask Him to “rubberstamp” your preference for you … by asking Him to show you if that person is your godly spouse, you will most likely hear the voice of your own emotions echoed back to you … and NOT really God’s voice.

In this case, God can even say YES if He sees that in your heart of hearts you’ve already made up your mind!

The Bible actually says that if you come to God with an “idol” in your heart He will answer you according to what you have in your heart.

*** Mistake #2
Ignoring your vehicle of destiny

Your vehicle of destiny is a certain skill, talent, attribute or gift that God has given you … by means of which He will deliver His best for your life, including your godly spouse.

For some it is hospitality. For others it is the milk of human kindness. For others it is the ability to be persistent in the face of all odds.

Yours could be spiritual or physical.

Maybe the ability to sing. Or help others in one way or the other. It is supposed to be your most dominant attribute. But if you don’t recognize it … and make full use of it, most of your blessings will be passing you by.

We see a good example of this in the Bible when we read the fascinating story of a young woman called Rebekah and how she got connected with her godly spouse.

*** Mistake #3
Continuing to engage in any form of sex outside marriage

The Bible says clearly that our body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. We are warned against all form of sexual activity outside marriage.

When you violate this crucial spiritual principle, you literally give the devil license to put you in a spiritual cage.

No one can find you.

Or propose marriage.

You could still be walking around – as beautiful as ever – but in the spiritual realm the devil has already written something like “Not Available” right across your forehead.

*** Mistake #4
Being ignorant of the mystery of spiritual marriage

There is something called spiritual marriage. So many singles who are unable to get married in the physical are already married to certain spirits as far as the spiritual world is concerned.
You will have a clue if you regularly have sex in the dream, or wake up feeling sexually aroused.

*** Mistake #5
Getting into ungodly associations

Ungodly associations such as consulting with astrologers, mediums, witches, occult people can lead you into forming soul ties with such people. What’s worse, they can plant a spiritual device in an individual to monitor her anywhere she goes. And when anything good is about to happen to that person an alarm is activated in the spirit realm and invisible powers are quickly assigned to abort it.

In the specific case of marriage and relationships, if and when the person happens to meet their godly spouse, an announcement goes out in the spirit realm to make sure the relationship is disrupted.
At any cost!

*** Mistake #6
Ignoring unbroken covenants

A covenant is an agreement binding on two or more parties. Some could be generational. Others could be as a result of one’s present activities.

There is a particularly important hidden covenant that doesn’t get mentioned all that often. You need to be aware of it when dealing with the subject of your godly spouse.

It is called the covenant with the first sexual partner.
A hidden but very powerful covenant is formed with the first person you had sex with. In fact it is a covenant of blood – very stubborn to break. And it can hinder many from getting married.

*** Mistake #7
Dismissing the subject of unholy dressing

When Christians insist on dressing like the people of the world, they end up attracting the unwanted attention of spirit beings … who are enamoured by their sexy dressing… and insist on following them around in the spirit, fighting over them just like humans would.

Many singles praying for a spouse may end up driving away their God-ordained spouse unintentionally because these invisible powers following them around want them all to themselves … without any competition!

*** Mistake #8
Ignoring the activities of evil manipulators

There are matchmakers in the spiritual world. Most of them evil. Their job is to provide counterfeit spouses. And manipulate people out of the will of God.
Now, the Bible clearly warns against being unequally yoked together with unbelievers – in 2 Corinthians 6 verse 14.

*** Mistake #9
Leaving unbroken curses in place

Many singles today come from cursed families or communities … where people never stay married, separation and divorce is the order of the day, etc. Even in some families, all the women never get married. Or marry late. Or have broken marriages.

Such people need to spiritually separate themselves from such backgrounds.
And then begin to pray in earnest.

*** Prayer for a Spouse

There is a 9-step prayer blueprint for christian singles who are interested in prayers to find love.

Here’s a summary of the steps involved:

Step 1: You need to deeply repent of these mistakes and ask the Lord for forgiveness.
Step 2: Appropriate the atoning sacrifice of the blood of Jesus.
Step 3: Identify and deal with satanic entry points.
Step 4: Break and renounce all ungodly relationships and associations.
Step 5: Violently issue a bill of divorce in the spirit realm.
Step 6: Bind and cast out evil plantations from your body.
Step 7: Command evil spiritual deposit to be flushed out of your life.
Step 8: Execute judgment on stubborn powers that refuse to let you go.
Step 9: Learn the 17 targeted prayers for Christian singles dating.

Whether you are a Christian currently dating or not, or whether you join a Christian singles dating site, there are prayers for singles that you should be praying to find the love of your life. As you deal with the mistakes explained here, the Lord will move you from single to married faster than you could ever imagine.

Elisha Goodman is a prayer coach and author of the popular “Prayer Cookbook for Busy People” series. He is the founder of the eagle singles blog at http://www.eaglesinglesblog.com, a new prayer community site with prayers for Christian singles. You can download the complete “9 Mistakes Report” by visiting http://www.firesprings.com/sreport.htm